Mar 25, 2008
Mawwiage is what bwings us togever today...
I've been thinking about marriage off and on lately, but more on than usual. This is not to say that I've got someone picked out...A friend of mine likes to say that you don't get to our age (25 for me, 27? for him) unmarried unless there is something wrong with you. I used to take great offense at that, but I do less and less lately.
See here's the thing. I'm terrified of commitment, and I have been for years. My parents have a rotten marriage that's been festering for years (I hope my mom doesn't see this...), and my one serious relationship ended because he "didn't think we were ever going to get married." And he was right. I wasn't ready to get married even though I loved him.
And I think that's the crux of the matter: love doesn't seem to be enough.
This doesn't apply to God's love, but I think it does for human love. We're conditional people, and we love things and people conditionally. I love you as long as you don't embarrass me. I love you as long as I don't find someone else more attractive. I love you as long as you don't make me change. I love you as long as you're successful.
Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe I've had more bad experiences than good when it comes to romance, and that combined with the house I was raised in, has left me a touch cynical. Maybe because of that, I choose relationships that I can sabotage when they become uncomfortable. Maybe I avoid them entirely so that I don't have to worry about being hurt. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Who knows?
On the other hand, I hate to be lonely. And it's not good for man to be alone. I adore the idea of having a companion in life. Because it's nice to have someone to come home to, to comfort, to occupy your time, to sacrifice for. And it's even nicer if they'll do all those things for you, too. I mean, I suspect there is something to this marriage thing, since so many people seem to be doing it these days.
What do you think?
Also, check out this article. Interesting stuff...
1 comment:
Interesting post, Natalie. I'll comment more later.
BUT, I'm not desperately lonely NOW. It was during the "other times".
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