Apr 12, 2008

Sometimes I feel bad about myself...

And then I watch reality television.

Tonight, I was watching Extreme Makeover. Don't ask why. I was bored, OK? ANYway, there was a girl being made over who was 26, and had never been kissed. While I think that is sad, what was sadder was that she was still hung up on things that happened to her in eighth grade. EIGHTH GRADE!

I'll be the first to admit that middle school is an awkward time. It certainly was for me. And some of my schoolmates did some pretty rotten things to me. Everyone thought I was weird, and most of them didn't like me because I was smart. However, as a 25-year-old woman, I'm happy to say that I don't really think about that anymore. Which is not to say that I'm not neurotic. I'm just saying I try to keep my neuroses connected to at least the current decade.

I was talking to our clinic manager at work on Friday (I work for a behavioral health company, if you didn't know), and he said, "It seems to me that people are just getting sicker and sicker." Sometimes I wonder if that's true. Are people more mentally ill now than they were 50 years ago? Or are there just more people? Or does it tie back to the fact that there is less stigma for the mentally ill these days? I mean, I think some people would say that homosexuality is rampant nowadays, but I would say there were probably proportionally as many homosexuals in the past. It's just that now gay people don't have to live in fear as much as they used to.

I wonder if it isn't a little cool to be in mental anguish these days? Think of all the moody MySpace photos you've seen in the last few years. I mean, emo is an entire lifestyle built around feeling unhappy. I'm as prone to this as the next person. There's something about being sad that I think we all secretly like. Otherwise, why would we do it so often? There's something selfish in sadness, but it's hard to say what...I think that's the bottom line. It's the only time we can be selfish without giving ourselves a hard time. I mean, we're sad, OK? It was a bad day. Can you blame us for being upset?

This is not to say that your friends will agree that you can't be blamed for being sad. It can be a bit tiresome to deal with someone who's always depressed. That's why Debbie Downer is funny, right?

1 comment:

Jen Clapp said...

I think, personally, that people are making themselves sicker and sicker, and it's due to the extreme self-awareness that people have. Because of technology and the widespread availability of what used to be "luxury" items (iPods, things like that), it seems like people should have the world at their fingertips. Everything should be sunshine and rainbows...And then they realize that the "stuff" just isn't cutting it. In fact, it's making them busier, more selfish and less dependent on other people. Which totally blows, when you actually stop to think about it. So...I think that the "fashionable" mental illness of today can probably be traced back to either a) people who look over their life and see that they aren't satisfied and b) people who look over their life and think that other people aren't giving them the satisfaction they feel entitled to. One is probably a more honest feeling than the other...

I think that it's so fashionable to be self-aware that people forget that you can find a lot of happiness in focusing on other people--being compassionate, helpful and encouraging. Making friends because they lift you up mentally and emotionally instead of socially. Being involved in things (for the same reason) of actually CARING instead of just hoping someone notices you're involved. Self-awareness and self-confidence are totally different...

Just my thoughts...